WMDs Found in Iraq!

Apropos of this, I would like to announce:

Recently the discovery was made that in his cleaing closet, Saddam Hussein had five gallons of a chlorine-based bleach and three gallons of an ammonia-based window cleaner. Such finds have been repeatedly discovered at Saddam's various palaces and in the houses of many of his compatriots. If mixed, hese could produce a toxic gas that could kill many people.

It was also discovered that Saddam had a large quantity of red Fiestaware, which is known to contain radioactive isotopes that could be used in a dirty bomb.

Finally, looking through one of his refrigerators in May 2003, soldiers discovered several strains of mold that might be useful in a biological weapons program. This was a difficult find to make; it was done in the dark, as the electricity to that area had been off for two weeks. We have been assured that the mold in the refrigerator on all of the food in there is tied to a chemical weapons program.

That is all.